All those spam messages from Di:ckGro:wth telling me how I can enlarge my penis are starting to affect my head.
Last night I dreamed I had a penis. A pretty nice one, too, if I do say so myself. Although, I don't recall seeing any testicles, I do remember that it was circumcised. It was just as if my little man in the boat was swollen--tremendously--and the plump little fellow dangled flaccidly into the commode as I pissed like a racehorse, for what seemed to be at least ten minutes, in a huge room that was empty, save me and my throne. (Like lil' Joe [who's becoming quite the little pisser], I obviously had not yet learned to pee standing up with my new appendage, or maybe I was just too drunk or tired.) The focus of the dream was the act of unrination, forcefully pushing the liquid out of my bladder, creating a mess as it splashed against the bowl and out of the toilet onto my fleshy thighs and the surrounding floor--like a cow pissing on a flat rock, as my Dad would say.
Needless to say, when I woke from the dream at 2:13 am, I seriously had to use the bathroom, but not before noticing that Bill had still not come to bed. The light from his office shown through the crack under our bedroom door as he systematically worked to get all of his clients' sites (including mine) back online after the server spent most of the day out of its rack and taken apart after crashing. Added to that stress, as would be Bill's luck, was a wicked head cold and accompanying pharmaceutical trance. Poor guy, he's such a trooper. I am so lucky to have a man in love with me who's mantra is "You gotta do what you gotta do," not to mention he's...well, never mind.
