As the story of Eshu's hat demonstrates, your version of reality depends greatly upon your point of view.
Positive, happy-go-lucky Robin has returned to Gainesville. Sullen, tired, irritable Robin has been banished to the dark side of the moon. As I've learned during my on-going religious education, we choose to believe whatever we want, and in the same vein, I can--no, must--choose to have a positive disposition.
Life is beautiful if you believe it is, and 30 is not an end; it is merely a milestone, a good point to stop, turn around, and look at the path you've traveled. And what did I see when I took a gander? A beautiful son, a handsome, intelligent, loving husband, friends and family who like and/or love me, two honors degrees, more good deeds than bad, and a lifetime struggle with anxiety and depression that I seem to be winning.
Of course, many personal goals still remain unfulfilled--but hey, I've got a good 60 years ahead of me (knock on wood) to accomplish them. It's time for me to stop worrying about where my path winds and start enjoying the trip.
When are you gonna post the collage of Robin-through-the-years? I want to see all those different hairstyles. Don't worry-I've been quite bitchy and bummed out myself. I think there is something in the water. (Actually, I KNOW there is--there was a big raw sewage spill in Gainesville a few weeks ago). At any rate, I'm taking your words--to stop being moany and self-absorbed in my own created misery-- to heart. They make me realize how important it is to live my life to the fullest, to stretch to the moon! I will be thirty in a few years myself, and I'm sure it will be a time of deep reflection. Well, I didn't get a chance to see you on your birthday, so I want to say "Happy Birthday." I'm glad you were born.
happy birthday, hon! Thirty is a number, that's all. It's not your worth, your contribution, your effect on the world. It's a whole number of infinite possibilities. It's a concrete thought of abstractions over a period of time. It's your age, not you. Glad to have you on 'our' side now.
Thanks, ladies. I'm so glad my two favorite commentors care enough to wish me a happy birthday. Although, I guess I should let you know that my birthday isn't actually until Friday. I'm an April Fool, which explains why I have negelcted to actually tell my birth date in previous posts.
